Saturday, October 8

Life's Lessons

1) We need to be more concerned about how we're treating others than how others are treating us

2) About friendship issues, it's so much easier when I focus on treating people right than looking for friends. I shouldn't spend my time looking, I should spend my time being. Being who I am but not forgetting about the needs of others...

3) Great expectations: I need to expect more out of life and what God has for me...There are some things in life I think happen for other people but not for me. Took a while for me to realize this. I know that God loves me and He has a lot planned for me. I can expect the best in terms of a job or material item. However, expecting the best in terms of a relationship doesn't come easy. I guess at the back of my head since I've had several go wrong...George Kastanza's "It's not you it's me" excuse is so true for me. While talking to a friend the other day about some guy, I noticed that I tended to lean towards the idea that he couldn't possibly like me. After all it's easier to expect the worst and if it is the worst it leaves little room for disappointment. But maybe this idea has somewhat been tied up to an underlying sense that I just don't have it all together for the guy I see as the good guy to like me...Well, I don't want to just settle for anyone but just because of my imperfections I feel out of the league of particular people. It's some strange place between believing I am valuable to God but not believing I am good enough for others. That doesn't make sense actually because if I do believe my worth in God, I shouldn't have a problem with my worth in others??? It's kinda confusing. I can't seem to figure it out. Perhaps my problem simply lies in believing that God has the best for me. Perhaps I'm focusing more on people than on God's favor...perhaps I'm focusing more on situations to spell out my life than on God to do just that for me...need to think a little more on this one. Maybe I am thinking too much. If you have any thoughts let me know.

back to studying...

have a blessed day!

Wednesday, October 5

what i really am thinking

well, being in a new environment can be one of the best or worst experiences. in my case, i still feel like i'm not "with it" yet. frankly, i feel like i just don't fit in. i try to, but sometimes it all seems to fake and superficial. and then when i do my own thing i feel like the most antisocial thing. i miss all my old friends and making new ones appears to be harder than i thought. i'm wondering if there's something wrong with me. i step out of my comfort zone but it feels like i just don't share the same humor as everyone else...or whatever...whatever "it" i seem to be lacking. maybe it takes time. but everyone else is laughing and having their thing going on and i'm not...i want to say it pretty much sucks...but then again maybe i've been thinking a lot today.

still...i wish this could change...or God would show me how to make friends...

i don't know..