If Today you hear the voice of the Lord.....
Well my today has been over a year now of resistive change. So basically I haven't listened and obeyed. I have been too busy hearing and making excuses.
This morning I said a prayer:
God, I want you to take everything out of my life that is not like Jesus. I don't want anything in me unless it glorifies and magnifies Jesus Christ the Lord. Lord, make my temple a house of purity, prayer, power and perfected praise for your glory.
Now being a christian, I know you can relate to this bieng quite an eplosive prayer and a scary one at that. I have just committed to let God be in my life and in order for this to happen, I am certain that a lot of changes will take place in my life.
Over the last two years, I've been rather slack in my walk with christ. A lot of things have come into my life that I just don't want to let go of. I want to enjoy God's blessings without achieving God's best for me. Today I finally listened to his voice. The quiet voice that has been persistantly whispering that my life needs to change. The quiet voice that has been SHOUTING, so to speak, that he loves me. The quiet voice that has been reminding me of how wonderful my relationship with God used to be. When I've been lonely I've remembered just how when I was wrapped around Christs knee my heart was completely content. Whispering that even though its going to be difficult that he will hold my hand.
This morning I addressed my fears.I fear that I will miss the things that God want to remove from my life. I fear that I will lose my friends. I fear that I will lose my job. I fear that I will lose my family.
I realised that the things that grieve the spirit in me although are physically pleasurable cause me spiritual pain. And the unhappier the spirit is, the lower my quality of life. I want a quality life. I don't want to constantly fight with myself. I see the true me and I don't want to keep hiding parts of myself from the world.
I realised that I really only have a few true friends and at that only three close friends who have seen my heart. I also realised that in truth I'd rather have only a true friend or no friend at all than lose my friendship with Jesus.
I figured God got me this job anyway. Just like my life, he can decide to take it any time he wants to and you know what it will be for my good since he loves me so much.
About my family. Well this I haven't found a solution for. I love them to death and not just my immediate family, but some of my friends have become an extention of my family and I can't stand the thought of them not loving me anymore. But then again, whoever tries to save his soul shall lose it.
I surrender all.
I figured I'd tell my favourite girl just so you know I need some extra help. And just so u know that you are the most important friend God ever gave me and I really appreciate you. Whatever happens from here on I pray I can remain stayed upon Jehova.
I love you and pray me through please.
