Life Love and Other Mysteries............

graduation

i think i'm beginning to realize that maybe graduating is a big deal. it just occurred to me that there have been people who've graduated in the past and i haven't really said "congratulations...", at least i don't remember doing so, or giving them a card etc. i only remember my eldest sister graduating (that was something, i cheered her on).

but back to today and what it means to me. it's 12:39AM. i technically should be in bed right now but it's been a long day and i figure what better time to write this than ten hours before my graduation. i pray there'll be no bags (under the eyes) later on today.

what i envisaged before graduating was to have this crazy praise and worship night, totally thanking God for bringing me to the end of my four years at MIT. it's been rough...from the freshman year when i thought i was simply no good. i came here and just felt dumber than ever. contemplated transferring to stanford (actually filled out an online application). i cried and cried...thank God He holds my tears. and i've made it. through all the wondering whether i was good enough to complete this degree well...which made me wonder whether i'd get into med school (which i did bless God)...and made me wonder so much about myself. i guess i came to the place...or rather came to realize that it's not me who makes something of myself, it's God who does. so He could take care of all my crappy grades...i just had to do my part, instead of struggling to prove to everyone that i am someone. that's God job. infact, i am someone in Him!


well, now i am here. not because of what i've done, but because of what God has done. He got me into this school (save the fact that i didn't have the prettiest SAT score or only applied to 3 schools. this school was my only "yes"). and i'm thinking about what my mother told me today. that i should be so thankful to God. yes i should. a couple of weeks ago i was. but i just got so caught up in thinking about the future...about my frustration in raising funds for med school. about my frustration in not knowing. i got so caught up yet again, despite the millions of trust messages i've heard this past month. i got caught up the day before my graduation and i couldn't even see the cap and gown as something meaningful. but it is. it is meaningful because all of this is a representation of God's faithfulness. i cannot count the number of times that He has been faithful through college but i can highlight some areas:

he saved me from the wrong friendships...i went off doing my own thing with guys who'd bring me down but He picked me right up and put me on the right path...

when i was on registration hold, the funds always seemed to come through at the right time

i went on a mission trip with teenmania ministries, something i always wanted to do long before coming here

he blessed me with beautiful friends...people who actually build me up.

i kept in touch with my family a whole lot even though we're spread out (over the world effectively)

he blessed me with a wonderful church..amazing i should say...

so much to say...but i should rest this body of mine so that it can function later on today...


in short, even though i haven't managed to have that praise and worship session i wished i could have...even though i got bogged down today by the future and not knowing what it holds...even though even though even though...i am still graduating. and i have no one else to thank but God. it is not my own achievement because God knows the number of times i soaked my pillow or woke up with red eyes the next morning and cried to Him. God knows the number of times i prayed out loud in my room...asking for help...God knows all the songs i listened to over and over again with words like "i believe i can make it", "trouble ain't gonna stay here any more", "i can't give up now..." the list is endless. so now, i sing "great is your faithfulness God"...he is mad faithful. thank you God for taking me this far.

so today when i graduate and they call out my name, i'll know that i've thought about two things...that God carried me these four years and how blessed i am to be a latigo. in my application essay to MIT i wrote about how my name means never give up in acholi and whip in spanish. people often laugh when i say that it means whip...but in my essay i simply said, it's a way of hitting my predicament on its backside and moving on with life...that's my whip. thank you God that i am a latigo. because of you i never gave up and because of you i gave MIT a good one on the backside and i made it through...no we made it through. and now, i officially declare "the best is yet to come!"

in His name,
Dr. Latigo.

posted by mel @ 6:00 am