Its 2005
I can't believe its 2005
I grateful that I'm still alive
I think this year I'll strive to be
a lot more honest coz it sets me free
Lately I'm feeling like a lot of compromise needs to fly out the door of my life
I have to come clean with myself about weakesses I've been afraid to admit.
I'm afraid to say that lately more and more the prospect of waiting for marriage
just seems a drag. My hearts a flutter I'm getting worse and worse at this thing called self control in that dimension. (I still think its wrong but I can see how I could compromise)
I have to admit that lately the prospect of moving in with my boyfriend has become that much more attractive and I have to admit I'm tempted to shut the door to my conscience,(he doesn't think its a good idea either but I figure I had better admit I am tempted)
I can honestly say that I have toyed with the idea of lying because it seems thats the only way to get away with stuff at the office,
And recently I have been a tad more judgemental of people who are doing all the above,
I learnt somewhere that most of the time what bites you about other people is your weakness..... I donnu why God picked this point in my life to shine his bright light and conviction in these areas of my life. Possibly to save me from making huge errors in my life.
So I've decided to come clean. I've also decided to be more accountable to the people who have been my greatest spiritual influence and friends in life so I am going to let them in on this blog...well they always knew about it but I never let them post in it. It was to be my blog but in this christian life I know I can't walk alone and when the pressure is on me to get my act right I think I need all the help I can get so Liz and Mel I love you both and thanks that I know I can count on you guys to pray for me and give me all the good advice a girl needs.I know you won't be afraid to be blunt and honest coz you love me enough to help me realign.
Heres to Honesty and Growth and Renewal and all the new things God has promised me
3 Comments:
i'll say this for now...
i know you've wanted this for long and God has given you something so beautiful (i know it for sure). someone wise doesn't want you to make any rash decisions that you might regret all in the name of your boyfriend. sorry...i'll continue this later...have to get ready for work :p
alrighty...yeah marriage. it's a great thing. actually you've got a wonderful thing going on for you right now. you love someone, someone loves you back. good stuff. but the most i can say toward your marriage issue is that if you ever think of moving in, don't do it. yeah i know that comes out pretty strong but there's somthing about moving in that sometimes destroys what you've got...and plus someone told me this today, something right that's done at the wrong time is wrong. i can't stop the way you feel about it, i can only tell you what i think you shouldn't do and pray for you....that's always a major plus;). and pray too. pray that God will help you stand strong and do the right thing...i mean "we're not supposed to do this on our own." right now i'm reading thru genesis..actually i'm on this read the whole bible thru thing and the last time i tried i gave up...sorta got bored reading a million chapters a day. anyhow, to cut the long story short i was reading genesis 19, when God destroys sodom and gomorrah. well looking at verse 16, you know how the angels are like yo, lot get out, God is going to destroy this place and all...but lot hesitates. well thank God for God because He realizes the hesitation and is merciful and drags him out of the city before all hell breaks loose. well what am i trying to say here? i could give you a million verses on don't do this, don't lie, don't do stuff out of God's timing but i know you know all that and you've heard all that. you know what's right and you know what's wrong...but in all it's just hard to stand up for the right thing more than often. we all know...that's why Jesus said that there's the easy way (wide road) and the hard way (narrow one) seldom travelled. but God is merciful and if He sees it in your heart enough that you want to do the right thing God will help you. and i can see that you do want to do the right thing by your asking for help. enough said...i know this is like a replay of stuff. but anyway, one last word and that is TRY, no matter how much it bites, TRY. when you feel like doing something that you know is wrong, close you eyes, put your foot down and TRY. it's harder to be honest when you know your job is on the line but God got you there in the first place not the people who hired you. i could go on and say, it's hard to control your feelings but God brought the guy into your life...but i won't go there...as for that, i'll just pray, coz i know for sure when i had my stuff going on last semester, i didn't listen to what i know i should've listened to. feelings are powerful...but even in that God ended something that He didn't want me getting into. i hope this helps you somehow. love you. ;)
Dear sis (You deserve this title),
I don't think I have suffiecient words to tell you how honoured and touched I was by your words and encouragement.
Its not that often you come across someone who takes time to read a post in your blog, understands what you are going through and goes ahead to make a comment that gives you the strength to continue fighting. Am proud to say I have found that in you and thanks alot.
In return I wish you all the best as you begin the year and try to put your life in perspective. But what I will tell you to do is try and get intune with God and things will start getting in tune with you (From Last sunday's sermon.)
God bless and I hope this communication doesn't stop.
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